Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
this hospital has no fireball
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
