After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
