My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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