i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Welp...herpes.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize