ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
