he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just pee around me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
