i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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