that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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