I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
