I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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