He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
