Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
