You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
