How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
