so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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