never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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