I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
