I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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