he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
