Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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