you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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