My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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