youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize