Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
