You don't have asthma, your pregnant
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize