I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
