1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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