Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
one might say we're banned from that church
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
