If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
