Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
