Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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