Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
