Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize