dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
