what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
