that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
