he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sober January is a disaster.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
