Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
