Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
