we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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