I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
