I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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