And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He has the fingertips of a God
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