Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
