12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
