im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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