is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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