Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
