so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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