Tell her she can't have a vagina
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
