You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
