Say something about gay babies.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize