it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
