he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
