K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
sarcasm needs its own font
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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