dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
