Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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