True but thats because hes a fetus.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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