i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
