I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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