my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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