too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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