We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
birth control should be required to get into college
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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