the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
